Trusting the Lord

July 5, 2012

This is a comment I made on one of my friend’s blogs. She lost her six year old daughter, Nevaeh (our spunky princess) to cancer last October. She recently went to a bereaved mothers retreat, and was confiding on her blog that she realized she lost her trust in the Lord. I shared with her a few of the things I’ve learned through my recent journey of trust. Maybe they’ll be a blessing to you too.

Hello My Dear Friend,
Sometimes it is so hard to trust a supernatural being. We do not, nor will we ever this side of Heaven, understand Him. I’ve struggled with the same thing with dad. The Lord did such a work to get him on the transplant list. He opened so many door and really gave us such a hope that dad was going to make it. Being the only one on the list, he really should have gotten a liver in a matter of weeks. It never came. When one was finally available back in May, some fluke thing happened with some of his antibodies, and his kidney wouldn’t be able to accept it. That was when I realized, this may not happen. It almost seemed a cruel joke that God could open so many doors, give us (especially mom)so many literal and Biblical signs of hope. (I’ll have to tell you about them all sometime). After his hemorrhage and major set back on the 26th (mine and my parents anniversary, ironic huh?) that big flame of hope shrank down to just a small flicker. When were leaving the hospital with dad, going home to spend the last few days with him I really worried about mom. Would she be upset with the Lord? It almost seemed as if He had lied to her. I should have known better. This sure wasn’t her first rodeo. She told me later, “You know. I’m glad the Lord gave us hope those last few months. Otherwise we would have been in deep depression. It gave us something to live for, to be happy about.” Her Faith is amazing. Dee McGaughey told her and me as well, that all the promises of life, and health that that hope we were promised, really were answered. It wasn’t how we wanted or even thought they would be answered, but God did heal him, and he is still alive. More than he ever was in some sense. I looked back at the verses that God gave me for dad, the verses of hope and comfort, and really Heaven answered them more completely than a transplant ever could. Knowing how very sick he was inside now, I’m actually a little thankful that he didn’t have to suffer through such a major surgery that probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.
Again, trusting a God that never really shows you all the reasons why, or reveals the future (or even the present) is not easy, or even natural. But I’ve found out so many times, that he hides things from us for our benefit. The times in the past that I did think dad was dying, I was in such turmoil. I think if I knew for sure that it was happening then, I would have been a train wreck. The gift of hope that God gave me really did get me through it. It made the journey much more peaceful and doable.
That’s one thing that I’ve learned about the Lord and his grace. It only works for the present, not the future. I know it will be there when I need it, but if I live in today, God’s grace is there. If I think about tomorrow or all the horrible “what ifs”, I fall apart.
So my encouragement, Amy is to trust God today. Don’t fret over how you’ll make it through those special anniversaries without her. We’ll get there soon enough. Think of today. It’s not easy to be here without her, but it is doable.
I love you and your family so much. I’m so thankful the Lord knit our hearts together! I’m praying for you. Love, Carrie

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Trusting the Lord”


  1. Thank you for sharing this sister! I really needed reminding of this. Your daddy told Danny Joe that very thing at a time when we thought we needed it immediately… God’s grace is sufficient in our time of need. And God’s grace did comfort us at the exact moment we needed it the most. Guess he knew a thing or two about needing God and waiting for His time huh.? 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: