One Year Ago

May 26, 2014

One year ago it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I wore my royal blue dress, and the kids wore blue kool-aid stains around their mouths.  I watched my nephews  run around and hide behind the headstone. I felt the sun warm my face and saw Claira talk to her Paw-Paw in heaven. We were all there. Our whole family sat on the green, cemetery grass to help mom celebrate her anniversary. As the tears began to steal from our eyes, mom spoke. She said 41 years ago this family was started, and she would have never dreamed of what the Lord would do with them. She told us of how thankful she was for us kids and for dad and the wonderful legacy he left behind. It was beautiful, and I don’t know how she could show so much of her heart and still have so much left.Together we sang a song. Together we grieved.  The Lord smiled on us that day. I think I left a little bit of the pain behind there in the graveyard that day.

Another year has gone by. Another anniversary is here. It is a little easier. The tears still fall of their own accord, but most of the time I can smile through them. I can look back and see the Lord. I can see Him walking with me through the last two years. I can see him binding up my heart, showing me the little patch of light to follow to get through the dark valley. I can see Him asking me to walk a little closer, to know Him a little more. He beckons to step out from the numbing darkness and to see this life in its fierce and cruel beauty. What were the sunrise if not for the darkness? What were the waking spring without winter’s icy blasts? What were my Savior without Calvary’s tree?

Today, as I think back down the path I’ve traveled, this beautiful song rises in my heart…..

  1. Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
    Draw me, my Savior—so precious Thou art!
    Fold me, oh, fold me close to Thy breast;
    Shelter me safe in that “haven of rest”;
    Shelter me safe in that “haven of rest.”
  2. Nearer, still nearer, nothing I bring,
    Naught as an off’ring to Jesus, my King;
    Only my sinful, now contrite heart,
    Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart;
    Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart.
  3. Nearer, still nearer, Lord, to be Thine!
    Sin, with its follies, I gladly resign,
    All of its pleasures, pomp and its pride,
    Give me but Jesus, my Lord crucified;
    Give me but Jesus, my Lord crucified.
  4. Nearer, still nearer, while life shall last,
    Till safe in glory my anchor is cast;
    Through endless ages ever to be
    Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee;
    Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee!

 

 

 

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